I am not your inspiration

Please don’t say you are so inspiring, and when I ask why say ”because your blind, your Autistic, you have PTSD, or even your disabled”. It is one thing for the mother of a Autistic child say ”I want my child to be like you”.

And if they say that I hope they understand even as I am sitting there, typing, or talking to them I have the same issues as their child. I am a arm biter. I have banged my head against the wall. I have bolted. Kicked my loved ones.  Screamed just to scream. I am the face of not just higher functioning Autism, but Autism any Autistic is though.

Blindness is another story. I am far from something a girl should want to be whether she is blind or not. In my rather very Autistic nature I will tell my mistakes if you ask. I talk too much, ask too many questions, and stand out oddly because of these things.

I am the person who has burned off a chunk of her own hair with a cigarette, and been a smoker since I was 15. My own mistakes are plenty, and out there.

Should I be proud that I “survived” the abuse I got from my parents, teachers and fellow students? This article says I should http://www.donotlink.com/framed?793280. Am I a inspiration because I made it out the other side? Even with the people who feel like that.

Is it because I use a white cane, and do not hide my visual impairment? Today is national white national white cane day.  http://www.perkins.org/stories/blog/10-fascinating-facts-about-the-white-cane#

I wish myself and other disabled weren’t put up on this inspirational ”we must worship you because you do things normal people do”. Because again the normal things I do aren’t something to be proud, nor is that I am disabled. Be proud of the things that you should be proud of when it comes to myself, and other disabled people.

Don’t be proud just because I got up, got dressed, and am going food shopping. I promise you there are more things I have done, or will do that you can throw me a party over. Be proud when I go to college. Be proud when I get a guide dog. Be proud when I become a lawyer. Be proud when I write a book. Be proud when I become something no one assumed I could do. But don’t be proud for me just being me.

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