Thanksgiving blind

I will be honest I didn’t know what I wanted to call this, or even if I wanted to write this. Holidays in general are a big thing for me, but mainly thanksgiving and Christmas. This is my first ”holiday season” blind. This is also the first without my mother. Someone who I feel both good and bad things towards. This isn’t about her though, my wounds are still too raw for that. I need to rant, but maybe my ranting might explain something to either someone who is a love one to someone with vision loss, a parent of a CVI child, or maybe just maybe let someone with CVI or that is blind/visual impaired they are alone. Or maybe I might just make some laugh.

Please I am begging you don’t move something that has been left there for weeks/months it is there for a reason, so I can find! I am dependent on leaving things were they are, either to be able to find it with my hand, or if I am having I ”good vision day” to be able to find it with my eyes. The nature of CVI means at least for me (some might be different) knowing where something is suppose be, and what it looks like gives me such a better chance of finding it.  Moving it can and does upset my ability to do things easily. It is a simple dish rag to you, but is a lot more to me.

When most of the conversation is not being said verbally, but through body language I don’t get it! It isn’t over my head it isn’t really even totally because I am Autistic, when I can see it I can’t even guess.

Yes I just drenched myself with tea/soda/milk/water. I tend to do things like that, even when I use my finger, because I can’t see that it is over filing, and my finger has its limits, just like your vision. You just saw one.

Yes I will run into things including things I should know that are there, I am just special like that. More likely I didn’t see it this time. I do it all the time, holidays aren’t a special thing. Nor do I want to keep walking into it, because well it bloody hurts! But as it stands this is a part of my life, part of vision loss, I trying to learn to live with it, please do the same.

`My cane is useful, no I don’t use it in the house, but when I do use it, it lets me find objects I might walk into, curbs and other things, and yes it does let people know I might not see them. Because as it stands at times I don’t. Please don’t make jokes about it. While I don’t like hanging on to someone, using a cane even though I do put on my brave face isn’t easy at times. I use it because I need to, if I didn’t I wouldn’t. I am fine with using it, and even fine with being blind, holidays are simply hard no matter what and blind jokes make them even harder.

 

There my holiday ramblings I hope they at least makes some sense to someone out there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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