Merry Christmas, or not…

(featured photo says with a Santa all I want for Christmas is for it all to be over)

This blog actually usually rather happy, well there was that Autism cake post, and the don’t assume, but mostly I am a rather happy person. I am the picture of the bright and sunny girl, shall we put daisies in my hair and dress her  in a white lace sundress?

I like everyone else have moods, say things I will regret, or maybe just maybe you hope I regret them but don’t.

I hate holidays. There I said it I hate them.


Because they were my grampy’s favorite time of the year, and he is gone. Well not gone, not past away, here comes the bluntness he is dead. And no matter what nothing is going to change that.  And I miss him.

Because he was the man who went to my concerts both when I played the viola, and chorus.

He was the man who drove me to my first home coming dance.

He was the man who picked on me, and made me turn beat red over my orange blonde hair.

He was the man who took me dixie stampede, Sea world, and all those other things.

He held me when I cried, and praised me when I had done well.

He was kind to people who didn’t know, and would never see again.

He made friends with everyone and anyone.

His only faults he loved my mother his baby, his youngest child too much. And he might have been Autistic, he also had all the things that go along with that. There was more right with him then there ever was wrong.

My father on the other hand was nothing more than a sperm donor, who didn’t go away like he should have.

My family attacks themselves like cage animals who haven’t been fed. Both sides. And they seem to have a head who they listen to their word as if it is God. And I happen to be tired of it.

Only thing I am getting out of this Christmas is I am not choosing a side. I am pulling myself out of the game, and plan on laughing when it all goes to hell. So merry Christmas to me.




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